Balancing Work and Home as a Small Business Owner
By Raphael Renter
Being a business owner brings with it a unique pattern of guilt
You feel guilty when you focus on the business because you feel you neglect people and things at home.
You decide to spend less time at “the office” and more time at home to make up for the above
You spend the “quality time” at home thinking about all the stuff you could and should be doing at work
Your partner, spouse, children comment that even when you’re there you’re ‘not really there..’
You spend more time at work to try and “get on top of things” so that you can genuinely be with those important to you
And so the cycle continues…
So how do we break the cycle?
Understand why we take so much on
Understanding how we work, helps in identifying the source of work and home related guilt. Once we have this awareness, we can actively choose to address issues that feed the guilt cycle.
Working styles, or drivers as they are also known, are programmed responses to the messages we carry in our heads from important people in our past.
The characteristics of our working styles were developed in childhood where we often did things because they seemed to satisfy the grown-ups. For example, doing things quickly to satisfy the parental demands to 'hurry up,', or being very methodical after being told not to make mistakes. When our stress levels are acceptable, the driver will then appear as a strength and others may well know us in terms of our style and how effective it is.
2. Appreciate why it’s ok not to be a Super Hero all the time
YOU don’t have to do it ALL!
Decide on what’s important
The action priority matrix is a simple diagramming technique that helps you choose which activities to prioritise (and which ones you should drop) if you want to make the most of your time and opportunities.
It’s useful because most of us have many more activities on our ‘wish lists’ – whether these are bright ideas to pursue, exciting opportunities or interesting possibilities – than we have time available. By choosing activities intelligently, you can make the very most of your time and opportunities.
However by choosing badly, you can quickly bog yourself down in low-yield, time-consuming projects that close down opportunities and stop you moving forwards.
Categories for prioritising and definitions of urgent and important:
Urgent – it requires immediate attention. They are usually visible and insist on action
Important – it has to do with results and contributes to your business development or family relationships. They require initiative and pro-activity
Do it now!
“A” tasks are high importance and high urgency – these should be dealt with immediately whenever possible e.g. Crisis, Pressing problems, Deadline driven projects
Plan to do!
“B” tasks are high importance and low urgency – spend time forward planning these into your day’s work and the work of others e.g. Prevention, Planning, Relationship building
Do quickly or delegate!
“C” tasks are low importance and high urgency – these should be dealt with quickly and simply e.g. Interruptions, Some telephone calls and email, Some meetings
Drop it, do in down time or delegate!
“D” tasks are low importance and low urgency – these should be done in ‘background’ mode or discarded if not necessary e.g. Trivia/filing, Internet cruising, Some telephone calls and emails
Getting things done through others
Make friends with delegation both at work and at home. The benefits of delegating far outweigh the often-misguided perception that no-one can do it as well as you!
Why delegate?
· More work gets done than you could do on your own
· Once a proper system is set up, it’s quicker than trying to do everything yourself
· You can concentrate on more interesting and challenging stuff
· It develops people – staff and family members!
· It enhances satisfaction
· It helps reduce turnover in the workplace and friction at home
· It might be done BETTER than you can do it!!
3. Align your personal and business “brand” for a more congruent life
Much of our sense of guilt comes from feeling that we are not authentic – that we are a different person at work to that at home. Determining our brand helps achieve congruence and authenticity.
Your brand is at the core of your areas of influence and has been developed and nurtured over time through the different interactions you have with your family, co-workers and the wider community.
It has been developed (positively and negatively) through your behaviours, your capabilities and your beliefs. Ask family members, colleagues and members of the wider community to give you three words they would use to describe you. Those words that appear in all three lists represent your personal brand.
Another way to think about this is to imagine you happen to overhear a group of friends, colleagues and family members talking about you, what would really love to hear them say?
Are you showing up as this person consistently at home and at work?
If not what needs to change?