Image by Brett Jordan

Ever found yourself saying "I just don't trust that person" but unable to really articulate why?

Chances are you might have found yourself muttering one of the following :

• That sales person sure talked a lot about that laptop but really couldn't answer any of the key questions that I had about it

• Rhys has promised me his contribution to the monthly report 3 times already this week. It's due tomorrow and I still don't have it

• I've told Sarah lots about my life and family but I still feel like I don't know her at all.

• The CEO of X company never does anything unless there's something in it for them

Our ability to trust is summarised in Charles Green's, Trust Equation which uses the following model to "score" someone's trustworthiness (in our eyes).

Often we experience someone who scores low on Credibility, Reliability or Intimacy OR high on Self-orientation and we conclude that we can't trust the person.

But is it as simple as that?

If we take the example of Rhys above…

Let's say that Rhys is a member of your team. He joined your company in September 2020 in the middle of the pandemic and has not yet met any of the team face to face. You took him through the orientation process and sorted out all his IT and systems to enable him to work from home. His CV is glowing and he demonstrated his knowledge of his subject really well during the assessment process. Granted he worked in a completely different sector before, but digital marketing is all the same isn't it?

Rhys may have not been a beacon of reliability missing your deadline for report content more than once but let's consider things from Rhys' perspective. Should he trust YOU?

Rhys has not met any of the team face to face, other than during induction and on-boarding so contact has been minimal. This has reduced the chance for team intimacy to develop. You had promised to set up a weekly 1 to 1 with him but an important customer is threatening to leave and you had to work hard to resolve this, so Rhys's 1 to 1s have never happened. All sounds reasonable right?

But how might Rhys score you on CREDIBILITY, RELIABILITY, INTIMACY and SELF-ORIENTATION?

I think he has a pretty good case for concluding that you can't be trusted!

If this post has resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Picture by Alex Ortlieb

Here at Club Synergy, we develop relationships with our members based on these 5 principles. We wanted to share them with you as we think that they’re pretty good principles for any relationship…

1. When it feels like things are going well, let’s celebrate and learn from the good stuff.

2. When it feels like things are not working, let’s talk about it and sort it out. If it can’t be sorted, let’s part with grace.

3. The best place for egos is on the pages of Sigmund Freud textbooks.

4. Feedback is a gift. Sometimes it’s carefully gift-wrapped, sometimes handed over in a tatty carrier bag but always heartfelt and intended to be useful and/or beautiful.

5. Admitting you don’t know stuff takes courage, let’s make it easy for each other to be brave.